Chapter 2 of : Abc’s of self love
by Melody Godfred
this chapter taught me what REAL BOUNDARIES are and that’s it’s ok to set them and how to make them healthy .
B- BOUNDARIES
AREN'T ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY NO TO.
THEY'RE ABOUT WHAT YOU MAKE SPACE FOR.
Boundaries : aren't just about drawing a line. They are about knowing yourself well enough to know where to draw the line, and having the confidence and self worth to honor it.
No two people have the same needs. A boundary ensures that both you and the people in your life know what your needs are so you can both honor them. Not sure if someone has crossed one of your boundaries? Check in with your body.
When something happens and in response you feel off, chances are a boundary was crossed.
Since your needs are constantly evolving, no boundary is ever absolute. You have to consistently check in with yourself and see if the boundary is still accurate. In order for a boundary to exist in the world, you must communicate it, which takes vulnerability. If you're anything like me, confrontation is highly uncomfortable. Communicating a boundary may require a small confrontation, but having a boundary is what alleviates the need for big confrontations down the road. Setting a boundary can be intimidating, but ultimately, it is both exhilarating and freeing. The first time you set one, communicate it, and stick to it, you'll see.
Practice setting boundaries. For each category, set a boundary and then communicate it: friends, family, love, work, play. Keep in mind: boundaries aren't just about saying no; they're also about saying yes!
Here are some examples:
Friends: No engaging with negative or toxic people
Family: No saying yes purely out of obligation
Love: No important conversations via text
Work: No checking work emails after 7 p.m.
Play: Yes to fun experiences with people I enjoy